turing-tested:

scrogms:

turing-tested:

whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

love

kinky! i like it

starlightshoe:

• i gotta feeling
  
• dynamite
• like a g6
  
• dj got us fallin in love
  
• moves like jagger
• tik tok
• party in the usa
• paper planes
• miss independent
• hey there delilah
• PARTY. ROCK. ANTHEM
• many others feel free to add
  

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Tumblr: “The signs as —”

Me:

safelov:

if u ever called me pretty I lov you. ur pretty too

rjnewton:

when the blunt was stronger than you thought it was

peteseeger:

telltaletypist:

peteseeger:

Ah dang I forgot what the detective from death note was called

Oh right! Thanks dr Phil

lilmissvirgo:

me watching my own snapchat story: she is so damn funny i love her 

710m:

My heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and thought of me

aquariantides:

adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to

sapphireswimming:

ubercharge:

siketreeker:

showerthoughtsofficial:

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

crazyshitisay:

pyro-lover:

When you attend school you are technically in story mode but once you graduate your life turns into an open world game with just side quests here and there.

unitedstatesoftony:

im a social vegan

i avoid meet

cutegirlonline:

when your anxiety is constant but you do a really good job of pretending it’s not there

Originally posted by spongebrah

meatfighter:

I hate that bugs don’t take fall damage

How I knock a spider off the ceiling and that shit hit the ground and start running

ipusheveryoneaway:

i need a hug

or a good cry

or both

maybe a bottle

of beer.

transhumanisticpanspermia:

franklyfranchia:

targent:

what is it about being on a plane that makes people go buckwild for ginger ale literally everyone be ordering it

ginger ale is supposed 2 help settle ur stomach if ur nauseous so ppl get it on planes if they get planesick

ginger grow in the ground so it keeps you connected to god’s earth while you’re thousands of feet up in the Heathen Tube